I should've known better.....than to open up my dusty "Maternal/Newborn Nursing" textbook. Seriously - what was I thinking?!?! I was "curious" and had labor on the brain for some reason today. I remember reading it years back in nursing school (or skimming, rather) and thinking to myself "No way am I going through that. No Way. No How." After a few too many graphic pictures of purple babies smothered in cheese dangling out of their mother's lady parts while mom shifts from one uncomfortable position to the next, I finally tore myself away. I put the book back in the closet, FAST. I didn't like working in labor/delivery the short time I was there (so YES I know what I'm in for) and I am none too excited to be on the other side of that business. How did I forget so quickly what I witnessed live and in-person??
Can't someone just knock me out, then wake me up and present me with my pink, healthy, clean baby, leaving no memory of what just happened???
Other dreadful things that happened in the past week? Well, I waddled into Motherhood Maternity to pick up some new (larger, ugggh) sleep bras. As I was waiting in line to check out, I was already having a mini-mental meltdown. You see, I thought I'd lost my cell phone. I was supposed to meet Joe at a nearby store in 20 minutes and was already WAY late. And my phone was nowhere to be found. So I enlist the help of the sales girl AND one of the customers to check the dressing rooms I'd been in and scour the rest of the store. No phone. I then give out my phone number and address in case they find it. I'm not that tight with my phone, but I'm irritated that I won't have phone numbers/dates/etc.
Meanwhile, the sales girl starts putting the hard sell on me. She starts telling me that ANY DAY now, my milk will come in and I will be HORRIBLY embarassed when I start LEAKING. So I better buy all these miscellaneous pads/cream/crap NOW. Because all it's going to take is hearing ONE baby cry and I will be a super-soaked humiliated mess. Awesome.
I flee the store as fast as my swollen feet will take me and finally meet up with Joe. He's annoyed, because I'm late. I start to protest "I would've called you, but I can't find my phone!" He reminds me that five minutes before we split up, I gave him my phone to do remove some applications on it so it would run faster. Duh Tammy.
Work hasn't been any kinder on my expanding body and forgetful mind. Lots of bending over and standing. I'll come out with a bag of chemo for someone and then stop, forgetting what it was I started to do. Even my patients are starting to comment on my "growth" and scatter-brainedness. But the real icing on the preggo cake was one of our Medical Assistants, who said to me "Tam, when you were working on Wednesday, I said to the girls 'Awwww....look at Tam's BUMP! And I'm not talking about her bump in the front. She's packing some junk her TRUNK!"
Maybe THAT'S where my brain went???
08 January 2011
Have you seen my brain? Maybe it's in my trunk.
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Miss Tammy,
ReplyDeleteJust know that you are not alone. Also take some comfort in the fact that your brain definitely has not dropped into your junk; if that was the case, I'd have been way smart for years now :). You ability to think clearly will come back, you just have a lot on your mind that natural lady instant puts up front to occupy the #1 priority position (and #2 and #3...). You're going to be a Mommy! Your brain, while currently annoying you, is actually preparing you for the upcoming fact that this baby will soon take over your life and you will love every minute of it.
My birth story with Sofia is incredible. I had some anxieties prior to her birth, but knew that I was tough and would make it through. It was so much better than just making it through. It was magical and important and lovely and yes a bit gross. It’s kind of like a messy house: when it is your mess you don't notice it as much. I was horrified when I learned through one of those preparation books that ladies often lose control of their bowels while on the table. HORRIFIED. I really think that if I could've called the whole thing off at 7 months prego, I would've based on this possibility. My point is: your anxieties are completely normal and justified. Every woman in your position has them. I'm pretty sure every woman will also confirm that they the anxieties are not nearly so bad when actually played out and more than worth it just a few hours later. The best part is that the "more than worth it" part lasts a lifetime...